Walking Away

Today I decided to no longer care about other people. I am done with caring about people who don't care of you care about them or not. It seems to be the most painful flaw in me, loving people who really don't want my love. I have this seemingly unquenchable need to give 99% of myself to people who only want to give .099% of themselves back. Phone calls and encouragement notes, remembering birthdays and being at the hospital, drop-anything-for-you support and spend-money-even-if-I-don't-have-it love.

It was my weakness in high school, the reason I dated Michael for so long in college and the reason I'm not sleeping much these days. It's why I question motives and emotions. It's why I am not surprised when I watch friendships die, even if it does rip my heart out. It's why I hate moving.

I'm not saying relationships should always be 50/50. I think they should usually be closer to at least 75/75. But when a relationship runs on 99/1 for too long, I think it's a sign that somebody doesn't want to be bothered.