In-Laws or Out-Laws?

If you don't get along with your in-laws, I am so sad for you. I consider myself - at least 90% of the time - blessed to have my family by blood (my mom, my dad and Marc) and my family by marriage (Jim, Genise ... well everyone all the way down to Summer) that I do have.

If you know family dynamic lingo, you'll understand what I mean when I say that the Sanders Family is the epitome of enmeshed. We are together a lot. When we're together, there is almost always laughter. Usually it's at somebody's expense, like when my brothers-in-law try out horse-racing at Dave and Busters or when my father-in-law has three spit-balls stuck to his face over dinner at a restaurant. When we're together, there is almost always history. Funny stories about broken bones or Christmas gifts, jokes about pianists or body hair, and poignant stories of sadness and loss. A house with 23 years of memories and the hope of many, many more. But overall, there is almost always love. We hug like crazy, even if we're going to see each other 15 minutes later.

Our family is being challenged in a big way right now. Choices have been made and how we respond to the outcome will effect the health of our family for years to come. But I am lucky. Because at no point in the past month have I wondered if love will win. Disappointment and sadness and guilt pop up from time to time, but love isn't going anywhere so those other emotions cannot last long.

Sometimes we drive each other nuts. Sometimes we disagree strongly on people or on positions or on practices. And sometimes I wish most of us weren't all in the same town (one branch of the tree put down roots in TN) so that those disagreements were more ignorable. I have a lot of friends who dread seeing their in-laws. Who welcome any excuse to not visit or to refuse a visit. And when I hear them talk about the influences they fear their families could be on their children, I can easier handle being part of this close family. I am reminded that it could be worse. MUCH WORSE. I don't have a monster-in-law or demon nieces and nephews. At the end of the day ... okay, at the end of most days, I am glad to be a part of this bunch, thankful for the fourteen people who I can call family simply because one of them choose to love me, and the others went along with it.

(This picture is about a year and a half old.

There are two family members missing ... well, not missing, just not yet conceived. )