Hey! Don't Touch Me There! These Are my Private Squares!

Last night after I had tucked her into bed, Abigail came into my room with a heavy question, "Why does kissing make you married?"

I knew what she was wondering: She had seen our wedding video and perceived that the kiss at the end of the ceremony was what resulted in our being married. So I began to explain that the kiss didn't mean we were married, it was simply a special way of ending the ceremony. Then she asked, "Well, why do you kiss Daddy if you're already married?"

I knew what she was wondering: If the kiss was about the ceremony, why do we still kiss now? So I explained that when you get older, you meet someone who makes you feel kind of silly and giddy inside. You feel differently about them than any other boy you've ever known. And when you're ready, if you both feel that way, you decide to spend your life together. Then she asked - well, stated with a tone of uncertainty, "Well, boys CAN marry boys and girls CAN marry girls."

I knew what I was wondering: WHO IN THE HECK HAS BEEN TALKING TO MY KID?!?!??!?! I thought carefully before answering. So I explained that, no, the way God wants us to live is with a boy marrying a girl. I asked her if someone had told her it was okay to boys to marry boys and she said no one had, she just wasn't sure. Then she asked, "Why does God want boys to marry girls?"

I knew what she was wondering: what difference does it make. So began to explain that God made our bodies different so that we could love each other in a special way. And through that way, he takes a little of the mommy and a little of the daddy and makes a baby (which we had already told her.) Then she asked, "You mean how our private squares are different?" (Thanks Meredith Woodell for that fine little jingle she sings!)

I knew what she was wondering: how long can I milk this discussion so I don't have to go to bed? So I stopped explaining for the night. I told her, yes, it is about our private squares, and that she and I would talk some more about it. But not right then.

It scares me when I read that you should talk to your child about sex before they enter the 1st grade. Because they will hear about it in school. Not in sex ed class, but on the school bus, and on the playground.

So I finished our little chat by reminding her that if any of her friends or anybody else tries to tell her anything about her body or their body or anything that she thinks relates to private squares, she should ask Jimmy or I what is true. Maybe it's because I watch too much SVU, but I want to have a very open dialogue with my children about their bodies so they do know what is right and what is wrong.