Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

One more post about our church and then I might move on to how disturblingly life revisits itself.
Last week I pulled out a scrapbook that is very special to Jimmy and I. For about two years, right after we were married, we led the youth group at our church. The album has pictures from bowling parties and youth rallies, special devotionals and trips. Just before we stepped down as we prepared to move to Searcy, we had a lock-in. Normally there would be several adults there, but that night, we wanted a night just for us and our kids. Toward the end of the album there is a picture from that lock-in. There are 18 people in the picture, five others were there, but had left early.

The pictures throughout the album make me smile and laugh. That picture makes me weep. And it makes me angry. It makes me passionate about not letting the future of our church be ignored. Here's why:

23 people. 21 kids ranging from seventh grade to high school seniors. Most of them were at the majority of the events we had. Shortly after we left, the first couple who had volunteered to take over divorced because of an affair. Another couple took over willingly, but not passionately. Another couple is leading now, and that's something for the kids who are teens now, but because after we left not much was done, so most of those 21 kids were neglected. And now when we look at that picture here's what we see:

• One who almost died from cancer
• One who has faught in Iraq
• One who stopped coming, married someone of the wicca religion, but has since returned to God
• Ten who do not come to church at all
• Seven who come to church because it is expected of them
• Four who come because they want to be there
• Six (that we know of) who have been sexually active before marriage, two of whom are having a child together
• Nine (that we know of) who use, or better said, abuse alcohol on a regular basis

Sometimes I feel such guilt for abandoning these kids. I know intellectualy that Jimmy and I have never been responsible for their choices, I know that. But sometimes I find myself wondering if maybe they would be stronger people for Christ if we had stuck around for them. I know better than to beat myself up for this for very long. But usualy when I stop beating myself up for leaving, I start beating up our church for not stepping up.

It's no secret that the church of Christ is loosing its young people. I don't know what generation label I fit into, but people my age and younger and becoming more and more visually driven, more entertainment focused and get bored much easier. And we are expecting young people to spend time at a church where they are not engaged visually or tactily, but have to sit and listen, where they sing slow songs with words like panoply and Ebeneezer, and where when they look around, they don't feel loved or important.

These kids are not finding love and acceptance and, yes, enjoyment, at church. And so they are looking for it other places. And it's a really big deal to me that my kids not grow up at a church where they cannot find these things. So I will work my butt off to give them better.