Abby is really throwing the questions at us lately. Sunday morning she was watching me make cinnamon rolls (usually she helps but I was in a hurry) using the recipe I have used since I was a child. Out of nowhere she asked, "Will you teach me how to be a mom?"
"Of course," was my reply.
"How?" she wondered.
"Well ... I hope that I am a good Mommy to you." I searched for the right words. "And you see the things I do and don't do, and that someday, you'll be a good mom to your kids."
"I have a lot to learn," she said. I sensed fear in her voice.
"Honey, a lot of being a mom just comes to you because you love your kids so much. And some of it you'll learn by watching me and by watching other moms."
"Well, I have a while to learn it," she answered.
"AT LEAST 20 YEARS!!!" I wanted to scream.
And then Steve Irwin died yesterday. She's been pretty sad about it because she and her dad have watched that show together since she was a baby. Abby has asked to write a letter to his wife and children and we are going to help her do that.
I know nothing about his faith so I have been cautious to make any reference to his afterlife. Yesterday she asked Jimmy if he had broken his heart. He explained that about the sting ray's body and explained that he had been poked in the heart. That it made his heart stop working and he died. Her response:
"Daddy, I want to die and go to heaven so I can still see Steve Irwin."
Crikey!! If losing Steve Irwin hits her this much, what will she think if she looses a friend, a grandparent, or Jimmy, Cooper or I? How do we respond when someone they knows dies and they question where they are? I mean, if I know the person and I feel pretty confident I know where they are, I hope she find peace in knowing they are in heaven. But when I don't and she wonders, I guess all I can tell her is that we can hope and pray that they knew God and loved God and obeyed God and that they are with Him now.
Heavenly Father, give me the words to speak to my children so that I may teach them what they need to know, so that they can have your peace in times of sadness, and so that they may have your hope in their own lives.
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3 comments:
Katie killed me with the "I want to go to Heaven now" line a while back. I just said (through my tears), "Yeah, me too! I can't wait! But I guess we need to finish the stuff down here that God has for us to do!" When her Big Dad died this past February, we talked at length about dying and heaven and hell. She still brings it up. It is very healthy to have the dialog - a hundred years ago, kids dealt with death frequently. It was truly part of life. I'm not sure if trying to shield our kids from it all is the best plan. Abby is a smart girl. She can handle talking about it! That's my 2 cents!
You may totally disagree with me, but when talking to children about someone who has passed away, I err on the side of Heaven. I mean I hate the thought of someone I know or admire from afar not making it. I think it's just too heavy a thought for a little one that has no control over someone else's eternity.
And in my humble option - which I am expressing here since I don't blog - it really makes me mad to hear people say that Steve Irwin was "asking for it." He was doing a job he loved. When an airplane crashes we don't say the pilot was asking for it because of his line of work. I wasn't as big a fan as Jimmy & Abby, but you have to hand it to a man in khakis that made people love animals.
Elena
Elena I had the exact same thought when I read that. I read one rant about "two more fatherless children in the world and how he should have thought more of his children not done the work." In that case pilots, truck drivers, people in the military, police officers, and teachers (as we've seen in recent years) should not have children because their jobs carry risks. It's ridiculous to punish him for his death.
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