September 11, 2001

Sunday afternoon we were in our bedroom and Jimmy realized what today's date was. "Tomorrow is September 11," he said out loud. Like I mentioned in a recent post, Abby is full of questions these days, so her response didn't surprise us, "What's Sept. 11?" I'm guessing she assumed it was a cool holiday. Maybe it involved presents or food or something fun. It wasn't the answer she expects.

Jimmy pulled her onto his lap and told her the events of the day. Probably more than most people would tell a child, but we try to be pretty honest with her and told her nothing she couldn't hear. She's been to the place where the World Trade Center used to be - several times in fact - but never got to see those buildings in person. Christmas of 2001, my brother bought us a large framed poster of the twin towers and that is the only way she knows what they looked like.

We want to make a trip back to New Jersey soon to see my family, but also because it's been a while since we've been to Manhattan. We want to see the rebuilding that has been done. We want to see the reminders of tragedy, but even more the reminders of hope, of a nation's unity.

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I was sitting at my desk in the Admissions Office of Ashland University. I had just gotten back from the bathroom. I had thrown up for the third time that morning. Don't believe the lie that morning sickness ends after the first trimester. I only had eight weeks left till I was due to deliver my first child and I still got sick almost every morning. My boss's wife called him and seconds later he came into the main office and told us somebody had lost control of an airplane and it had crashed into one of the Twin Towers. We had to put a radio near a window so we could get good reception of a news station, and within minutes it became clear this was no accidental loss of control.

My mind raced. I sat in shock and silence, my mind racing a million miles a minute. My brother called and asked about our uncle, Robert, who works in DC. Then to my aunt and cousins who frequently take the train into NYC from the Jersey Shore. And as they announced the closing of American airports, my mind raced to my parents who were working in Ukpom, Nigeria as missionaries. My daughter was due in 8 weeks and my mom is supposed to be here. I wondered if she'd make it.

We listened as our President, in whom I had - and still have - tremendous faith, declared it an act of war. As we all began to face the reality that more Americans would probably be forced to put their lives on the line to make this wrong right, my mind raced to my husband, Jimmy, who had one year left in the inactive Marine reserves. To my brother-in-law Joe, who was in the Air Force. And as each day went by, to the other men in my life who all said they would go if they asked for men to join the fight. I guess I never really imagined there would be another war in my lifetime, but it quickly became evident what the times ahead would hold. I prayed over and over that the fight would not go on for so long that any of those men would only be names to Abigail because they died protecting this country. And yet I know any of them would.

I remember thinking that someday she would be in history class learning about Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001, and what happened that day and she will ask me where I was when I heard. I rubbed my stomach throughout the day, telling her how sorry I was that the world I would soon bring her in to was in the condition it was. But then I sang over and over, "This is my Father's world. Let me ne'er forget. That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet! This is my Father's world. The battle is not done. Jesus who died shall be satisfied and earth and heaven be one."

In the midst of the darkness and sorrow, our hearts and minds turned to God like, for many Americans, it never had before. If those behind this act thought they would destroy our nation by doing this, they were quite mistaken. As we turned to God for strength, we only became stronger. And here we stand five years later. stories of hope abound, and stories of sadness. The war that began that day is not yet finished, perhaps it never will be. And thought it may someday truly cease, wars will come again. People will do terrible, horrible things to other people for all kinds of reasons. But in the end, I believe God will show that this is, in fact, His world. Not ours. And certainly not Satan's.