The Long Goodbye

Here I am, posting from Goodletsville, TN where my family has stopped for the night. Yesterday we loaded everything we own - 18 feet of things - into a trailer. We had so much help moving. Some of my girlfriends had a blast going through my fridge to stock theirs. James McDuffie can lead singing but he can't use a power tool. Jimmy Woodell got all his carpter's pencils back and Todd Wyatt and Sam Shores played with bubbles. Man are we blessed.

Saturday night they gathered around us at the church for a going away party. We ate and fellowshipped and laughed and laughed and laughed. John, Becky Bob, Sam and I played I Spy and Todd got Kami to embarrass herself (and her husband) in front of everyone. Abby and Cooper played till they were exhausted with some of their favorite people in the world. Such encouragement. And such a blessing.

This morning my eyes started leaking with the first song. The idea of leaving a church so focused on God and on the people - saved and lost - around them tears my heart in two. A church where the worship is alive; where the words in the songs are not just words, but conversations with God and with the believers around you. A church where children are embraced and where the leaders will not think only about their faith, but about the faith of the younger generations. I cried the entire time. Our class surounded us, laid their hands on us and prayed. And the goodbyes began ... or ended. I guess I've been saying goodbye for a month now.

After lunch and stops at two houses, we left Searcy. I was glad the kids went to sleep so quickly because then Abby couldn't see me sobbing. I don't know how long I cried because I eventually fell asleep. I drifted off begging, "Please, please God - don't let him do this. Do something to make him turn around."

He didn't. I know that God CAN force us to change the path we are on; but I also know that more often than not, he expects us to choose the path and then serve Him on it. Being married, I don't get to choose. Or I guess I got one choice and I made it six and a half years ago. Now I get to go along with his choices. What I get to choose it to continue to honor God by going along.

So go I go. But I gotta tell you - I'm sick and tired of saying goodbye. And I'm not sure I'll do it much more. Everything we go through changes us. This is changing me.